Posted by Stan on July 11, 01 at 10:31:36:
In a nationwide survey conducted by Stan, consumers overwhelming chose the prototype 2003 Avalanche over the 2002 model. Shown in pushing the old model off a cliff the new model is pictured behind the current 2002 Avalanche. This new model is in response to growing consumer outcry for SUV’s that do not resemble amusement rides at Disneyworld. The new 2003 model will be available in summit white ONLY. The survey spokesman was quoted as saying “ If they bought the Avalanche they will buy anything. Offering the new model in white will increase profits” Other features include dual tread tracks, defroster, wipers, and a newly re-designed “Dingo Ball” rear view mirror holder.
If an effort to increase fuel economy, the 2003 model will feature the popular power train system V-8-6-4. This system was first introduced by Cadillac in their 1981 models. It is reported that there are several thousand of these combinations currently on the shelf. The new models are expected to arrive in early 2003. The newly released models will initially feature drive power to the left sidetracks only. Dual drive tracks are being considered. The great feature if you fall out, the Avalanche will circle around back to you and you can either jump aboard, or perhaps if in a drunken stupor.. get run over.