Posted by stan on December 30, 1999 at 12:48:12:
By lack of popular demand, here are the 1999 STAN awards. The wackiest and craziest postings of the year. The intention here is to have a little laugh at ourselves, not to condemn…. So here we go..
The Forward Thinking Award- This year's winner is Big Yellow who wants to turn the clock back by replacing the high tech fuel injection system with the addition of a carburetor. Big still works at a buggy whip factory, although sales have been rather slow.
The Consumer Warranty Award- Goes to Bill and Sue Thomas who sat perched atop their 1998 Suburban for four months waiting and demanding warranty work. You probably saw this on 60-minutes. They were convinced to come down after the necessary parts (drivers side seat rails) arrived and they were shown the actual parts.
The Lobotomy Award this year was easy… Goes to Max Fredhoff who rolled his Suburban while off road and proudly posted the pictures with his own web site. Somehow thought it was a great achievement despite his ten-year-old son's broken wrist. Max challenged all to roll their 'Burb as well. So far, no takers, but it is New Years and anything could happen.
The Bright Idea Award goes to- Musky who wanted instructions on how to wire a "Mag" flashlight in his rear window. Our thinking here at Comedy Central is how is he going to get this into his back pocket?
The Dealer Driveshaft Award- Goes to Ned Lapuer who returned his new 1999 Suburban to the dealer after driving 3 miles. It seems that the factory accidentally switched the anti-freeze and the motor oil. Dealer said sorry and said they would repair the vehicle on the condition that Ned produced all the maintenance receipts. Ned is still waiting.
The Mobil-One Oil Award- Need we say anymore… of course our very own Dave B. a.k.a. Traveler.
Where Is He Award to .. Fat Boy… Where are you? Call home.. we miss you
The Technology Award- Brock Retersen wins this years prize… He asked about how to wire a GPS system into his rig to keep his Direct TV dish in perfect alignment. It appears his 15 year old daughter had a fit if she missed any rerun episodes of Melrose Place, thus causing Brock a great deal of grief. Brock.. VCR?
The Mystery Solved Award this year goes to Doug Breham.. While driving, his rig the door locks and lights were actuated at random times. The dealer, who was dumfounded.. (There's a surprise) quickly had the vehicle checked for demons. It was found that indeed the vehicle was possessed and evil spirits were present. After a trip to a fortuneteller, all is, OK now. Cost.. $672.98.. Doug is still fighting with the warranty folks at GM.
The "I don't get this" Award… #1 Son for his logo campaign. Still trying to figure that one out.
Best Advice Award- It's a tie… Traveler and #1Son. Thanks for all of your help with the designed in crappy quality.
And that's it…. Enjoy the New Year !!!
Stan
Moreover, thank you for posting to the board